Dear Tiny,
As you might expect, I have lots of female friends. I know women who are married, divorced, single... and everywhere in-between. In fact, I've been talking about boys with friends since elementary school. How mysterious (... and annoying?!) boys were! They seemed so much more susceptible to what was cool or who was popular or what their friends thought.
When I was in college I had a poignant moment with a professor in which I told him that I thought it was entirely likely that I would end up a single, old woman. It wasn't necessarily said in a bitter tone; there was something appealing about quitting the entire game of relationships and settling into a comfortable routine with a cozy sweater and a few pets to keep me company. But that professor told me to wait it out, that boys take a few more years to mature. Sure enough I eventually met Dad and that professor was happy to say he told me so when I saw him earlier this year.
I'm writing this because you're going to exist in the world as a different gender than I am. And not only that, but you're going to go through the world as the gender that I was always waiting on, always two steps ahead of, the one that was always touted as the one that made more money, had more managerial positions, more privilege, less biological clock. What would it be like to go through the world as a boy? I hardly know.
I work with many men these days. Technology still struggles to draw as many women into the industry. Some days I take the elevator to the lobby and think, "GAH. MEN!" Some days I miss the presence of a bunch of strong women around me. But you know, most days I don't think much about it at all. It's an underlying presence for sure, a culture that can't be ignored. It changes the way I talk to people or negotiate or explain my point of view. But I'm far enough into life to know that, some women? Are crazypants. And some men? Are crazytown.
Be a good person. Be an honest person. Be funny, be kind, don't let people take advantage of you, respect yourself and back up your reputation with a strong work ethic. That's good advice for you, boy or girl.
Love,
Mama
